MWA - Merlin Wright Associates

Working for a manager who’s difficult to handle can be one of the most frustrating events in your career; and an all-too-common experience. Whether they’re disorganized, unsupportive, or micro-managing, ‘upward management’—a term that refers to acting with intention to manage your relationship with your boss, can be your best bet to maintain your sanity. Here’s how to handle situations such as this with tact and professionalism:

Anticipate Their Needs and Preferences

It can often seem that bosses want you to predict their needs before they even ask. Of course, you can’t become telepathic – but it is possible to ‘learn’ your manager and understand how they work best. Do they prefer detailed reports or just the highlights? Is email the best way to communicate, or do they favour face-to-face discussions? By tailoring your communication to their preferences, you make it easier for them to work with you—and less likely to cause friction.

Stay Solution-Focused

When a problem arises, don’t just bring it to your boss’s attention without a solution. Offer possible solutions instead. Being proactive with solutions shows initiative and helps your boss feel less burdened. This approach not only reduces their stress but also boosts your credibility as a problem-solver, and keeps your manager from finding negatives with your performance.

Keep Your Emotions in Check

If your boss is volatile or dismissive, it’s tempting to respond emotionally. However, staying calm and collected is essential. In situations of potential conflict, try to keep your interactions professional and fact-focused. Responding emotionally can escalate tension, while a composed response keeps interactions emotionally level.

Communication is Key

When working with a boss who tends to change their mind suddenly or provides unclear direction, it’s critical to document your communication. Wherever possible, follow up verbal discussions with a written summary—whether it’s through email or a project management tool. This serves as evidence of your understanding and agreement and can protect you in case your manager’s expectations shift unexpectedly. It’s not just about covering yourself but ensuring clarity for both parties to prevent misunderstandings down the line.

Manage Your Boundaries Wisely

If you find yourself overburdened due to your manager’s lack of clarity or poor time management, set boundaries to preserve your work-life balance. Check in with yourself regularly – you should be able to politely but firmly communicate when you have too much on your plate, and prioritize tasks based on urgency and impact. Balancing assertiveness with diplomacy helps maintain a positive dynamic without building resentment.

Seek Allies and Mentorship

If the situation with your boss is untenable, find someone within the organization—whether a senior mentor or colleague—who can offer guidance. Sometimes, outside perspectives can provide valuable insights on how to better manage the relationship or even advise on moving forward in your career.

The concept of upward managing isn’t about controlling or ‘getting around’ your boss, but being intentional in your interactions with them. This has the result of creating a more productive and less stressful work environment, alongside improving your relationship with your manager. Although you don’t need to like your boss to succeed, maintaining a positive professional relationship is crucial to doing well in the workplace. You can’t change their behaviour, only the way you communicate and react. By taking control of your responses and strategies, you’ll not only improve your working relationship but also demonstrate your leadership potential.